Magnifying your strengths
What happens when brilliance is overshadowed by self-doubt and a life spent trying to fit into a mold that was never right for you? I can tell you firsthand— it’s painful and nothing ever feels right. If left unchecked, it can bring on all sorts of things like depression, anxiety and a deep sense of unfulfillment. It’s like putting on a bright pink dress when all you want is to avoid being noticed; instead of blending in, you feel even more exposed, amplifying the awkwardness you already feel.
Recently, I worked with someone who had lived his entire life without an ADHD diagnosis. He grew up in a time when it wasn’t recognized as it is today. Although he was brilliant in his field, he continued to struggle with self-doubt and the persistent belief that he needed to conform to traditional systems, even though they didn’t work for him. As we got to know each other, he began to realize that his life had been profoundly shaped by undiagnosed ADHD, leading him to internalize the negative reactions of others toward his neurodivergent mind. From teachers dismissing his behavior as annoying or frustrating to the strain it put on certain family relationships, he often blamed himself. Despite his brilliance, he understandably focused on what wasn’t working rather than recognizing his unique capabilities.
Together, we identified his strengths and reframed what he had perceived as hindrances, turning them into powerful allies. This shift in perspective enabled him to secure the job he truly wanted. Instead of sticking to the script, he chose to abandon what was expected at the last moment, fully embracing his authentic self—and it worked.
As children, all we want is to be accepted and loved just as we are by our parents. But as we grow up, we realize that the world doesn’t always operate that way. When we choose to stand our ground or have a unique way about us, we may face harsh words or even be ostracized, which can be incredibly painful, pushing us into the background. After enough of these experiences, we learn that it’s easier to blend in, even if it means living a life that doesn’t feel authentic to us.
Yes, life can feel uncomfortable when others don’t accept us, but we do ourselves a huge disservice by trying to fit into someone else’s mold. Genius emerges when someone dares to think differently. So, how do we find the courage to do the same?
Once my client understood how ADHD influenced his life, he shifted from viewing it as a flaw to recognizing it as a unique perspective that only he had. This realization allowed him to harness his true potential, leading to success on his own terms. Our perceived flaws are often our greatest strengths when we finally understand and embrace them.
What makes you unique? How comfortable are you with your uniqueness? How much have you struggled because you happen to be wired differently? In a world that often pushes us to conform, the real gold lies in owning what makes us different. It’s through this acceptance that we can truly thrive.